Yesterday of My Tomorrow

Yesterday of My Tomorrow

I know there will come a day that remembering you will no longer hurt.
I'll be able to bear looking at you without any tears in my eyes. 
Eventually you'll become a blurry memory yet to fade. 

Tomorrow.
The next day.
Perhaps another month or so.
Another year.

You'll gonna fade.
Away. And away.
Far and beyond.
Until you become a glimpse of my yesterday.

But now, well, the pain is here.
Creating havoc, my second skin.
The pain is now.
A real-time peer.

Will it stay?

Tomorrow.
The next day.
Perhaps another month or so.
Another year.

But I'll just embrace the now for now, until it becomes a yesterday of my tomorrow...








11/11/13
-Jelaine

Your Every Day Dose Of Strength

“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.”

Stay tough!            

Say the Word by Julie Johnson

Synopsis:

"The heart isn’t like the liver. It doesn’t regenerate, no matter how much time passes. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. I’d left mine with Sebastian when I walked away that day, and I hadn’t seen it in the seven years since." — Lux Kincaid

At eighteen, Lux is forced to make a choice. One that nearly destroys her.

She breaks a boy’s heart.

She breaks her own, too.

Seven years later, Lux never expects to see Sebastian again — especially not when her career as a journalist is hanging by a thread and she’s stumbled onto the story of a lifetime. As she chases down leads and explores the dark underbelly of Manhattan, Lux will put her life on the line. But after crossing paths with a still-unforgiving Sebastian, it’s her heart she’s most worried about.

Amidst the blame and the betrayal, the hurt and the heartbreak… can two lost lovers ever find their way back to one another?

Lines will be blurred. The past will be unearthed. And Lux will find out that some secrets aren’t meant to be kept…

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My Review:

10 shooting stars! 

It took me a day to finally write a review for this book. I just can't do anything after reading it. I was so overwhelmed. Words were overflowing and so were my emotions, and yet I couldn't do anything or didn't even know where to start. I got lost. Caught up. Stilled. Immobilized. Because all I did is felt. Absorb. I let it consumed me because by gods, I love how it made me feel.

I don't just read books. I passed the phase of tagging it as just a mere hobby in my slum book. It's my passion. It's something I could no longer picture out not doing anymore. I live for it. 

I really don't have any major requirements in reading a book. Offer me any book and I'll read it. But it doesn't mean I don't have a 'priority' list. 'Course I do. Those were the kind of stories that will surely make me momentarily put the one I'm currently reading "on hold" (figuratively speaking) and rush my ass to start them. 

It was just a good thing though, and thanks to my lucky stars, when a dear friend of mine recommended this book to me, I've just finished reading a book on my long 'priority list'. Because of the gods, I so love the plot. And this book never disappoints. I love it! 

It has everything you wanted in a novel. Romance. Suspense. Action. Mystery. Humor. But what really bagged me is how the story was beautifully told. I mean, anybody can write a story, but not everybody knows HOW to TELL a story. Julia Johnson really knows how to tell hers! 

I love second chances, young love, broken promises, and redemptions. I love the lines. Geezus, Julia Johnson is soooo good with words, she made me cry. I love this novel with so much passion and total abandon I can hardly breathe! 

There's so much heartache, but with a promise of healing in the end :)

Invisible Rebecca

“Invisible Rebecca”

Her name was Rebecca,

a five year old little girl.

There were things that

confused her.

Was she too bright during sunlight

that she seemed to disappear by the light?

Does her skin turned ink dark

that even her shadows can’t be seen at night?

She pinched her cheek.

It hurts.

So it means she was alive.

She was not a ghost after all.

Then why the woman with long black hair

And eyes like her can’t see Rebecca?

Was Rebecca too small to be seen?

“Should I change the color of my dress

into attractive ones?”

Rebecca asked herself.

“Sunny yellow? Bloody red?

Or perhaps sunkissed orange?”

She giggled like a kid that she was.

Would the woman with black hair like it?

Rebecca ran to her room

and changed her white dress.

She picked the long one that reached

her tiny little toes.

The color reflects thus of the rainbow.

She began to dance in front of the mirror.

She was so happy because Rebecca

saw her reflection.

Maybe this time Rebecca’s face

would appear  in the woman’s eyes.

Rebecca ran excitedly down the staircase.

When she reached the last step

she faltered and landed on her knees.

She struggled to stand.

It hurts but Rebecca didn’t cry.

The woman was in the garden.

She was so beautiful.

She looked like of those butterflies.

But what Rebecca wanted most was

for the woman to really see her,

to touch her.

So she would know that

the little girl was real.

Rebecca hesitated,

but in a small steps she came to her.

Then she stopped three feet

from the woman’s back.

She raised her small hand

to touch the her arm,

the woman didn’t move.

She tried to call her name softly.

She guessed the woman heard her

because finally she turns her head.

But the rain started to pour from heaven

so the woman started to pull away from

her touch without looking down at her.

As if the woman never knew

she was there.

As if she never felt her touch.

Did the rain wash her away?

The woman walked away.

Rebecca ran after her until her legs hurt.

She kept on calling her name, “Mama! Mama!”

Her mama did not look back.

She just kept on walking

until she finally disappeared.

Rebecca stopped running

but her tears didn’t.

Her tears continued to dance along with the rain.

Until she started to fade away.

Until Rebecca became invisible...

It was July 10, 2012 when I wrote this short story. The little girl is me...

THE KILLING

THE KILLING

The evidence was in my hands.

I was blinded,

blinded by the ebony of the night so filthy.

I felt her sopping blood,

The color of mad rose petals,

creeping into my pores,

seeking through my veins,

flowing with my own blood.

Like of a silent river kissing the fuming ocean.

The ill-scented blood should weaken my heart.

But like the lavenders of summer it calmed my soul.

Her eyes were still wide open,

mirrored against mine.

Dark eyes meet dark eyes.

Her’s with fear.

Mine with vile.

I scooped her in my arms.

The coldness of her body that matches the icy breeze,

increased the numbness I felt at the center of my chest.

I felt the heat of my sweat dripping on me

as I buried her in the heart of the forest,

at the deepest part of the earth.

At the place where she can’t be awaken.

Where she can’t crawled back to life.

Where she can’t caged me back to past.

When the piece of soil cover the corpse

I drew my sword at the place where I knew her heart lies.

I tilted my head and faced the midnight sun.

I closed my eyes and breathed my freedom.

I just killed the devil who darken my heart.

I slayed the woman I used to be.

    ***********************************    

I don't know what triggered in me to write this poem. This was written back in July 12, 1012.